RWBY: A Team Like No Other
by TheBrokenBottle
Summary: Side Project: A Story dedicated to fluffy and humorous one-shots, AU one-shots and sisterly drabbles. Every genre included or will be included later. (Rating indicated in chapter name.) Proper summary later. Will take requests from reviews and PM's!


**Hey guys, this is a little side-project for me as part of TBB. As I'm sure all you aspiring authors out there know, there are times when you just can't seem to get anything done, or when the plot of your story gets muddled and confusing.**

**Because you guys have been so supportive (seriously: over 200 follows on ENR, and over 100 on both ML and IS!) and I don't want to let you down, here's a place where I can write one-shots or maybe even stories that span a few chapters as a way of getting some writing done and giving all you wonderful people something to read.**

**This first chapter is an idea I had with Ruby being 7 and Yang 9 in a real-world AU. It's just a bit of fun, and hopefully something you enjoy.**

**Don't forget to check out my other stories, including a FreezerBurn collaboration I've started with NobleMETA that was published today! Also, check out his work, along with that of the other people who help me out: Mister Spark and Navyrants. They're great writers, and I wouldn't be anywhere near this good without them.**

**Thank you once again for reading my work, and may 2015 be an amazing year for you!**

**Read, review, follow, favourite and enjoy!**

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><p>"Ha! Say goodbye to your deckhands, Captain Blondebeard!" The seven year-old brunette triumphantly shouted at the top of her lungs, slamming her fists down into the water with an almighty splash.<p>

"Not so fast, Strawberry Shortcake, your troops are helpless now! My samurai robot will lay waste to your forces!" Yang called out as her hand reached out of the bathtub and grabbed a shiny orange samurai toy from the bathroom floor, pointing it menacingly at her little sister's 'troops'.

"Yang, that isn't fair! You said only to use the things that are inside the bath!" Ruby pouted, sinking lower in the bath and letting the hot water and bubbles cover most of her upper half.

"I'm older than you, so I decide." The blonde smirked, putting the samurai back in its place on the ground, next to a rubber duck, a beach ball and some plastic military figurines. "I think we should get out now Rubes, it's a draw tonight."

"Awhhh!" Ruby whined, not paying attention to her sister who was grabbing fresh towels from a cabinet. "I don't wanna go out."

"Not even when I tell you about the present I planned for mommy and daddy's anniversary?"

And with that, the younger girl burst out the bathing tub, leaving a carpet of rose petals floating gently on top of the water, each one moving with the ripples that travelled delicately across the shimmering surface.

Even though Ruby was already seven years old, she still enjoyed the luxury of being towelled down by Yang; a task the older sister was happy to perform. In later years they'd look back on these days with embarrassment, but for now their innocent young minds saw no ill in Yang doting on her sister.

"Okay Rubes, I'm gonna dry myself now. You go and get dressed in your jammies."

With a joyful cry, Ruby raced out of the bathroom, the few remaining drops of water that still clung to her skin being sent flying by the movement, and Yang ensured that she was also dry before heading into the room that the two girls shared to get dressed.

"Hey Yang!" An enthusiastic cheer greeted her arrival, and Ruby sat casually on the top bunk, her legs swinging lazily and her small toes twitching slightly as they did so. As per usual, Ruby was wearing her kitty pyjamas, and the pink caricature of a cat's face on her top was furry on the outside so as to make it more inviting to stroke.

Due to how they had been raised, both sisters were perfectly comfortable being naked in front of the other, and Ruby continued to act uninterested as Yang clothed herself in superhero pyjamas. They were boys clothes, but Yang insisted that no-one know, and her parents agreed with a smile. Ruby took a bit more persuading, but eventually she too agreed to keep Yang's secret, for what it was worth.

"Ready for your story Ruby?"

"I thought daddy and mummy were going to read to me tonight?"

Yang looked adoringly at her younger sister and her puzzled expression, and lightly ran her fingers through Ruby's pixie cut.

"They will, but they're not back yet. If you want I can do a couple of chapters now, and when I've finished they'll be back for sure."

"Okay!" She chirped happily, snuggling down into the still-cold sheets and waiting for Yang to begin the story. Though she'd never tell them, Ruby much preferred Yang's story telling to their parents because Yang had a tendency to get carried away and add her own parts to it, meaning each story was different and more perilous than the last: something the younger sister appreciated no end.

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><p><em>Our story begins in a kingdom that lay far away from here, and this kingdom was ruled by an evil queen who was vain and cruel. Every morning she'd climb to the top of one of the castle's minarets and-<em>

"What's a minaret?"

"Ruby, don't interrupt! A minaret is like a tower, I think."

_Anyway, she'd climb to the top of the castle's minarets and gaze into a magical mirror. This mirror was, like, super-magical and stuff, and it could talk to her. And every morning she'd ask;_

"_Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"_

_And every time, the mirror would answer with;_

"_You, my Majesty."_

"That's silly, mirrors can't talk!"

"Well this one could. Ruby, I'm going to stop reading if you keep interrupting. Do you want to keep talking?"

"..."

"Good. Now, back to the story."

_But one day the queen's step daughter, a beautiful girl named Snow White was born, and when the queen asked the mirror the next morning things went differently._

"_Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"_

"_Famed is thy beauty, Majesty. But hold, a lovely maid I see. Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. _

_Alas, she is more fair than thee."_

"Yes Ruby?"

"What does that mean? Also, what does Snow White look like?"

"Well she was very pretty, and she had beautiful flowing hair that was the envy of anyone who saw it."

"What colour was it?"

"Erm, brown I guess. The book doesn't say."

"Can't she have white hair? I want her to have white hair!"

"Fine, she had brilliant white hair that shone in the sun."

"What colour were her eyes?"

"I don't know, blue maybe? Ruby, I'm trying to tell you a story here and you're not making it easy."

"I wish Snow White was my friend…"

"Aww, that's so sweet! You don't need her when you've got me!"

"I guess…"

"Hey, I'll tell you what: we finish this chapter and then if mum and dad aren't back we can do something you want. Sound good?"

"Yep!"

"Good. Now, back to the story…"

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><p>Yang set the book down with an audible sigh and turned to the attentive Ruby. Once she'd managed to get into the main body of the story her sister had hung on every word with wide-eyed wonder, and it had taken all her willpower not to chuckle at the adorable sight. It seemed Ruby loved this particular tale, and she'd only interrupted once more to insist that Snow White was accompanied by a huntress instead of a hunter. She'd cowered at Yang's 'evil queen' laugh, which of course only encouraged the older girl, and was practically bouncing up and down with glee at the ending when the huntress finally kissed Snow White.<p>

"And together, with the nine dwarves," Yang concluded with a smile, "they all lived happily ever after."

Ruby's face remained fixated on her sibling for a fraction of a second before she jumped out of bed and wrapped her arms around Yang.

"Thanks Yang, you're the best!"

She didn't reply, instead thinking back on the alterations she'd made to the story and how Ruby had taken them in as fact, especially adding a couple of extra dwarves in 'Punchy' and 'Stabby'. Was it possible to Trademark stories you'd only just told your little sister? Yang wasn't sure, but she was definitely going to have a look into it.

"Now I get to choose what we do!" Ruby declared happily, still hugging Yang.

"Huh?"

"You promised, remember? And I want to cook!"

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><p>Their parents loved to cook, with a wide enough repertoire to satisfy two hungry children; this passion and talent passing on to both Ruby and Yang. Whilst at their age cooking was limited to helping bake cookies or cakes, they still showed a great enthusiasm for producing their own meals, and it was a talent their parents fully intended to nurture over the years.<p>

Unfortunately, whilst their skill level may have been adequate for baking a few treats, it was not quite enough to cook what Ruby had opted for in the end: Slow roast lamb in a red-wine sauce with steamed vegetables.

"Is this it?" Ruby asked, holding up yet another pan with shaky arms for Yang to scrutinise.

"No Ruby, I asked for the slow cooker." Yang berated kindly, even though she had no idea what a slow cooker was or what would distinguish it from the various other shiny pots and pans that Ruby kept finding in the cupboard.

Whilst her sister rummaged around yet again, the boisterous blonde set about the next part of the recipe: the wine. She knew that they had a wine shelf in the kitchen and she knew that they needed red wine, but as far as she could see none of the bottles were really red at all. Some were a deep purple, some were a light green and some she recognised as the beer her father drank on occasion.

The shelf above held many other similar bottles, but she'd been told these were "spirits" or something similar, and she knew to leave those well alone. One time when she was younger, Yang had tried to climb up there, resulting in a bottle of gin falling down and shattering on the floor. This had the unfortunate side-effect of dousing the young girl, and thus her parents had to explain to the many guests that evening just why their daughter reeked of gin.

"Yang, I think I've found it!"

Hearing her sister's excitable shout, Yang abandoned her search for the wine and turned around to see an exhausted Ruby leaning on a large metal pan with a metal lid that seemed attached.

"Look: it says 'cooker' on the side!"

Glancing at where Ruby was pointing, Yang saw that it did indeed say 'cooker', preceded by 'pressure'. Figuring that it was close enough, she broke out into an obviously fake smile.

"Well done Ruby, you did it! Now I need you to find all the vegetables here."

"Do I have to? You know I don't like veggies."

"Ruby, this isn't for you, it's for mum and dad," Yang began, oblivious as to just how much she'd taken over the whole operation, "now do you want me to read them out for you or can you manage?"

With an exaggerated sigh, Ruby grabbed the recipe book from the table and trudged over to the fridge-freezer to retrieve the hated veggies. For the life of her, the young girl couldn't figure out why vegetables had to be included in everything, and why the cooks at school made them taste so bad. Even Yang wouldn't eat school vegetables, though they didn't let their parents know that.

"Do you think they'd like a Shiraz?" Yang read aloud, peering at the label on the side of one of the many bottles on offer.

"No idea what that is," Ruby chirped from inside the fridge, having clambered inside to get a better view of the food on offer.

"Shiraz it is then!" Yang proclaimed happily and removed the wine from its shelf. They'd managed to find almost all the ingredients with a few exceptions, most notably the lamb, but Yang was confident that they wouldn't even need it in the end.

"Ruby, what's a steamer?"

"Ooh, I know, I know! It's what happens when you boil a kettle!"

Yang opened her mouth to disagree, but shut it thoughtfully after a moment. She'd been told that steam came out of kettles, so surely a kettle was also a steamer? It made sense, so she gathered up the assorted carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and green beans that Ruby had dumped unceremoniously on the side and put them in the kettle.

They didn't all fit, though Yang suspected that perhaps she should have chopped them up first, but looking at what was left she thought another load could be done later on. So filling the kettle with as much water as she could, Yang began to "steam" the vegetables.

As the kettle began to make some alarming noises, Yang turned her attention to the pressure cooker, now full of wine and any odd bits of meat that Ruby had found. Fortunately for the two of them, they'd shared a roast chicken the previous night, and the remnants of the carcass had been placed in the fridge for use the next day. It seemed Ruby was unaware of this, as she'd put the entire chicken, bones and all, in the pan and sealed it as tightly as she could.

Looking at the scene before her, Yang couldn't have been happier. They'd managed to get dinner almost completely ready without any help from their parents, and hopefully they would share a meal as a family. There was absolutely no way this could go wrong.

* * *

><p>How had it gone so wrong? Yang was no expert, but even she could clearly see just how much of a disaster the situation currently was, and she was desperately trying to see whether it was in any way salvageable. This was not helped by Ruby running round and round, screaming about how everything was terrible and that the house was going to burn down and they would die.<p>

Yang reached out and grabbed her sister's shoulders as she ran past, shaking Ruby back to her senses.

"Rubes, calm down! I have it under contr-" The blonde paused, gazing back at the 'steamer', a worrying beeping sound catching her attention, quickly followed by a light starting to flicker red.

"Get down!" Yang called out, yanking the younger brunette with her under the table, taking shelter from whatever chaos was sure to come. She was pretty sure this situation couldn't get any worse, but she was proven wrong when the unmistakable sound of a car pulling into the drive could be heard.

"Yang! Ruby! We're home!"

'_Oh no!'_

"Yang, we're going to die!" Ruby wailed hopelessly, clinging weakly onto her as tears streamed down her face.

Much as though she would have liked to reassure her sister, Yang was similarly concerned, and all she could think of was the rage their parents would surely be in when they found the state of the kitchen. Maybe they would kick Ruby and her out onto the streets to fend for themselves? Yang was sure she'd heard of that happening before, and now would be the perfect time!

A shadow fell over the front door that led to the kitchen as her parents fumbled with their keys for a moment before unlocking the door and striding inside.

"You girls still up?" Taiyang called as he entered. He was short for a man, standing at barely 5' 8", but they loved him all the more for it. An untidy mess of black hair hung down over his eyes and a smart suit gave the impression of a professional; an impression further enhanced by an authoritative smile.

None of this was relevant at this moment, however, for just as he crossed into the kitchen, the kettle finally lost its battle with the pressure that had been building inside, and messily exploded, covering the entire kitchen in a mushy green paste and melted white plastic.

Taiyang stood still for a fraction of a second; the shock at being splattered with miscellaneous vegetable matter a little too much even for his composure, before staggering forward slightly to allow Summer Rose to follow him into the ruin that had once been their kitchen: Summer fortunately avoiding the brunt of the explosion.

"What the hell?" Taiyang mumbled, still not quite sure what exactly had happened, as his wife gently pushed past and surveyed the room, quickly turning off the hob where another potential disaster lay in the pressure cooker.

"Honey, what happened?" She asked, clearly as confused as him.

"I have no idea. I stepped inside and the kettle just… exploded."

As their parents gazed despairingly at the ruination in front of them, Ruby and Yang remained huddled underneath the table, mostly shielded from the blast, and now they were planning their escape.

"Yang, I'm scared!" Ruby whispered pitifully, her voice hoarse from all the screaming earlier.

"Me too Rubes, me too. Now Just follow my lead and we'll be fine."

So saying, the two of them crept forward as far as they dared, before breaking out into a sprint once they were sure they were in the clear.

"And where are you two going?" Summer's voice sounded behind them, and dutifully they turned round to see their mother looking sternly at them.

'_Damn.'_

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><p>"Well we'll need a new kettle, and the kitchen could do with a thorough clean, but no real harm done." Summer smiled warmly as she looked down at her daughters, and instantly the girls felt much better.<p>

"Really?" Ruby asked wide-eyed, and mouth slightly agape in wonder.

"Of course dear," She began, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on Ruby's forehead, "what matters is that you two are ok. Now go on: it's bath time for both of you!"

"Bath?!" Yang moaned, "We already had a bath earlier!"

"Well you're having another one. Both of you are covered in bits of food and goodness-knows what else."

"And what about dad?" The oldest said, pointing at their in paste-covered father, a snickering brunette standing next to him.

"Don't you two worry about him, I'll take good care of him." Though they were too young to fully grasp the implications, it was clear that the sisters were to leave, as they saw their mother running her finger along her husband's cheek with a satisfying smile.

"Yang?"

"Yes Ruby?"

"Thanks for looking after me today."

Her sister smiled warmly, "It's fine Ruby, that's what sisters do."

"I know," Ruby proclaimed happily, "but you do it better than anyone else."

Yang pulled her into a one-armed hug, "Thanks sis. And hey: I think Captain Blondebeard is about to claim another victory over the dashing Strawberry Shortcake."

"No way! I'm totally going to win this time!" Ruby declared as she dashed on ahead to reach the bathroom first.

Yang watched her go, her smile growing wider as she did. Yep, Ruby was something special, and Yang was already thinking of what story to read her afterwards. Maybe Snow White again, only this time with Snow White visiting their world. Maybe Goldilocks; that was always a favourite of Ruby's. Or maybe something else entirely.

Maybe 'Little Red Riding Hood and the Great Kitchen Catastrophe'.


End file.
